Quarantinewhile... "Citizen Kane" Isn't Perfect, But "In & Of Itself" Is
Quarantinewhile... Stephen and Evie Colbert don't like to brag, but there's a lot for the executive producers of "In & Of Itself" to be proud of, including the film's perfect rating on Rotten Tomatoes. #Colbert #Meanwhile #Quarantinewhile
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Watch The Late Show with Stephen Colbert weeknights at 11:35 PM ET/10:35 PM CT. Only on CBS.
The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is the premier late night talk show on CBS, airing at 11:35pm EST, streaming online via Paramount+, and delivered to the International Space Station on a USB drive taped to a weather balloon. Every night, viewers can expect: Comedy, humor, funny moments, witty interviews, celebrities, famous people, movie stars, bits, humorous celebrities doing bits, funny celebs, big group photos of every star from Hollywood, even the reclusive ones, plus also jokes.

  • Jay Perrin
    Jay Perrin

    Evie McGee? Sounds like a song. Ever sing "Evie" in place of Janis Joplin's Me and Bobby McGee?

  • Nikul Vyas
    Nikul Vyas

    Quarantinewhile, one reason there's a chicken shortage. Disappointing roosters, even roosters are losing interest in having sex because of covid. www.eastidahonews.com/2021/05/one-reason-theres-a-chicken-shortage-disappointing-roosters/

  • Doña Ratona
    Doña Ratona

    That speak easy sounds fun!

  • Kelly Mitchell
    Kelly Mitchell

    Sadly it is meat at taco bell but it's boiled

  • G.T. G.T.
    G.T. G.T.

    Burning Man is a white privilege Joke.

  • Cpt.Flatspot

    But no mention of this new woman with beard emoji: 🧔‍♀️….🤔

  • theInvisiblecarrot

    But sometimes, just sometimes

  • Greg Roth
    Greg Roth

    It's obvious that the lead in to these segments involves a lot of writer effort. I can objectively appreciate that effort, but the extensively drawn out absurd metaphors for "coming up with things to talk about" are really not enjoyable to me. They aren't offensive, but I get no enjoyment from them. Maybe cut them back.

  • mayoite160

    i actually prefer quarantinewhile without jon batiste. his segments can be added to the monologue instead

  • kennethknaszak

    Losing millions wo Trump in office, and also the most hated talk show host in history! Not funny whatsoever

  • Elisabeth TenBrink Kelley
    Elisabeth TenBrink Kelley

    I honestly wasn't expecting my dislike of Citizen Kane to be /that/ unpopular of an opinion.

  • Lord of Electrons
    Lord of Electrons

    Burning Man normal is vastly preferred over Trump "normal" if that word even applies.

  • Adam Calaitzis
    Adam Calaitzis

    i would LOVE to work on this show, so much awesome

  • Enckidoo Falling
    Enckidoo Falling

    Who was the bad review by Randolph Hearst?

  • Sasha Carroll
    Sasha Carroll

    I gotta be honest, I don't think anyone's gonna wanna drink if you get the Pfizer vaccine, you're already shitting your pants ...

  • SixColors

    3:06 It's more common and far older than you realize. sltoos.info/for/pnp6sI-niqygtG0/video

  • Narlyskillz Dos Adar
    Narlyskillz Dos Adar

    You made me laugh so 👍🏽

  • Steve G
    Steve G

    That guy in the studio has the best laugh, we know you're talking straight to him, SC!

  • Eleonora Gioia
    Eleonora Gioia

    The day I will fully understand these intro, I guess I can apply for US citizenship! 😆

  • Ja M0
    Ja M0

    Rotten tomatoes is very rotten how dare they try to cancel Citizen Kane

  • Kyrie

    Burning man ended a long time ago, it's just rich kids and creeps being as self centered as possible

  • Katherine Turney
    Katherine Turney

    After all this monkey-type testing, I suddenly feel the need for a Rhesus Peanut Butter Cup.

  • Heidi Melcarek
    Heidi Melcarek

    3:05 - Huh, that doesn't make any sense at all. Alcohol kills viruses. Why would anyone give a shit what effect it has on some RNA crap that's injected?

  • ArtistaFrustrado - KFP Night Shift
    ArtistaFrustrado - KFP Night Shift

    ok under which Law and/or Standard Taco Bell has ever been considered "meat"?! "Food" was already stretching it

  • RubelliteFae

    No, I'm not excited for new emoji. There's already too many two of the three they are adding already exist: 😵 (but not on iOS) & 😩💨 Haven't you done enough damage Apple? In Japan 👷‍♂️ meant "Under Construction, we apologize for the mess," (which is why it used to be bowing and ungendered), but you saw it and said, "Hey, there's already construction worker and cop, let's add a bunch more useless jobs so it takes longer for people to find useful emoji!" 🙏 means "sorry" or "pleeeeeease" not "I'm praying for you." And 💩 means "good luck" or "I'm cheering you on"... but also poop.

  • Avon Pendragon
    Avon Pendragon

    2:09 - There's a reason why TACO spelled backwards says Oh CAT

  • Panda Bear
    Panda Bear

    Deep State illuminati Cabal Reptilian Stephen show you know the deep state puppet guy.

  • Chris Bredesen
    Chris Bredesen

    Even the writers have bad days sometimes.

  • Kaaren Allyn
    Kaaren Allyn

    I adore 💗 Stephen Colbert & his brilliant monologues. But: I’m so disgusted by these moronic you tube ad inserts I can’t stand being on anymore. 🚫

  • Roman00

    ramshackle racoon speakeasy xDD

  • Giuseppe LoGiurato
    Giuseppe LoGiurato

    Um... "Citizen Cane" has ALWAYS been boring and unenjoyable (similar in crowd-appeal to "Grapes of Wrath", that is, NO ONE ACTUALLY ENJOYS IT ANYMORE)... Spoiler alert: "ROSEBUD IS THE SLED", and the protagonist is so disgusting and disagreeable that you're glad he dies in the end... (I'd rather watch "Dead Poets Society", and I HATE that movie too!)

  • Lady Kennie Frog
    Lady Kennie Frog

    "Get a wiff of that." I cringed so hard.

  • Peter Stathis
    Peter Stathis

    Does anyone else skip past the super-long intro on these quarantinewhile bits? Make with the jokes, funnyman!

  • DancingCloud Lew
    DancingCloud Lew

    I'm obsessed with Colbert's intelligence and humor.

  • phantom 7 cross rose
    phantom 7 cross rose

    Citizen Kane devie, what are you a hundred?😇

  • Douglas Dunton
    Douglas Dunton

    c ancelled should have 2 lls, not one. I really dislike Microsoft "spellcheck". It erases so much unique culture. Stilll (I'll add the "extra l" here), Stephen is always fabulous!!

  • Richard Thompson
    Richard Thompson

    So the Hearsts bought out Rotten Tomatoes?

  • badbiker666

    Slim Jims expire? Oh oh.

  • Mr.Tinfoilman LIVE
    Mr.Tinfoilman LIVE

    I see some people accidentally hit the dislike button. That's okay. Just a happy little accident.

  • Angel Divine
    Angel Divine

    For accurate tarot prediction on success and love that truly resonates, join us at sltoos.info

  • Ethan Kindle
    Ethan Kindle

    He missed the joke opportunity that Apple released the update on 4/20

  • Howland Owlle
    Howland Owlle

    . "Slipped" on Rotten Tomatoes? . Huh.

  • Sally Skellington
    Sally Skellington

    The best movie I ever saw was with Vincent Price and ?? Arghh forgot his name right at the moment. They did Edgar Allen Poes epic, dueling wizards, so Awesome!!!! Black and White and so damn Cool!!!!!

  • Michele Godlevski
    Michele Godlevski

    Still LMAO at Quaratinewhiles....thanks for helping us get through a global pandemic with laughter...your medicine is right up there with the vaccine!

  • Rick Brosky
    Rick Brosky

    WORST show ever. Cancell this crap

  • coreyinprogress

    Burning man actually has some pretty amazing healthcare services. Lots of medical personnel volunteer their time.

  • james eaton
    james eaton

    Joe understanding like Stephens is that Joe wants to build trains as fast as planes. Great plan...I know Joe realized we are still traveling across country in a covered wagon.

  • Elmer Fudd
    Elmer Fudd

    Shouldn’t it be 200 enter......... 100 go in?

  • Sarswati Singh
    Sarswati Singh

    I hope his convoluted metaphor writer gets paid alot

  • Jay Taffer
    Jay Taffer

    In and of Itself is pretty stupid and cheesy BTW

  • james eaton
    james eaton

    11 million viewers watch Joe.. barely a bad sitcom viewershiper numbers... where were all the voter's... sorry Stephen had 300 viewers

  • Hopeful Hyena
    Hopeful Hyena

    What's funny is that if you read the negative review on Kane, the reviewer basically gave it a bad score cause it wasn't "simple enough". Ok.

  • EastSider

    “Testing their own meat alternative”? Is that what we’re calling it these days?

  • GildaLee27

    Alright. It's abundantly obvious there are Burners on Colbert's writing staff.

  • Dean DuPont
    Dean DuPont

    It's sad Burning Man is cancelled. I mean, think of all the trust fund babies and art students we could have removed from the gene pool if it had been held! 😈

  • jesusramos1900

    I drink heavily. Dammit I'm screwed

  • Victor Akandu
    Victor Akandu

    Mystery speech! But definitely from nether regions.

  • Psiberzerker

    Okay, Burning Man isn't canceled because of the Environment? I mean, I love a great party as much as the next guyl, but do we really need to be trucking our own water, fire-wood, and an effigy out to a dry lakebed right now?

  • Ryan "Ducky" Georgieff
    Ryan "Ducky" Georgieff

    I thought that Taco Bell used raccoons?

  • Sheila Lopez
    Sheila Lopez

    I already eat only cheese tacos. My family laughs at me (I'm Hispanic you know). What do you people want from meeee? What, they're here for me. Why are they all wearing white coats? Are they doctors? Oh good 'cause I have a pain in the​...Wait the arms on this jacket are too long.

  • Mohammed Ali
    Mohammed Ali

    Where’s burning women festival??? Why are men denied watching a women burn??? Sun af erm bitch.

  • Charles Bronson
    Charles Bronson

    I had an opening. Maybe not that good but you can have it Stephen. Here goes: "Folks, right over there I bring you the perfectly selected, filled out & printed multi-billion dollar lottery ticket that is my monologue but sometimes. Just sometimes. I like to creep around the local gas station parking lot on the rough side of town in smelly, torn drifter clothes so i can sift through waste cans overstuffed with old energy drink cans, discarded diabetic needles, used baby diapers, hygene product & dirty squeegee water paper towels looking for discarded tickets stuck to the goo at the bottom. Maybe check the sticky bathroom stall floor that has bits of toilet paper that has colors of human fluid that make me question what humanity is made of; or dumpster dive out back & fight a few stray cats in order to gather up whatever has been hastily left behind so i can sit down on an old milk crate, check every grungy balled up crumple looking for the half scratched winning one dollar lottery ticket that is my segment... Quarantinewhile!" 😀

  • Anna Robin Hogendoorn Streef
    Anna Robin Hogendoorn Streef

    Anyone find themselves tuning out of the intro more and more? Don't get me wrong, stil love it, I just tune out more and more

  • Eva P
    Eva P

    Ha ha that's a pretty good intro. I got in trouble for doing the same.

  • Aaron


  • D SC
    D SC

    Just a thorough 200 went in 100 went into .

  • Charles Bronson
    Charles Bronson

    TACO BELL "MEAT SLAM!!!" C'MON Colbert I was waiting for that soundbite. 😂😂😂

  • brachypelmasmith

    i just love this format with everyone giggling behind the camera

  • godless yuri fan
    godless yuri fan

    4:17 Wait, did he just tell me to kiss his sled?

  • Charles Hermetix
    Charles Hermetix

    Goop Paltrow would totally say that vagina thing lol

  • J-Man

    Who writes those intro's? Write a crime drama or something good.

  • Orlando Henriquez
    Orlando Henriquez

    How could you read all those words without even breathing...each day I wait for quarantinewhile and I bet to myself..."...This is the day he'll suffocate..." and I always loose

    • Devon

      Don't wish that on our national treasure

  • inkooh8

    1:19 Orgy Dome: 200 people enter 220 people leave.

  • Ross Parlette
    Ross Parlette

    Spoiler alert!

  • Chris Churchill
    Chris Churchill

    I love Colbert but that movie is 100% BULLSH*T.

  • valar

    An orgy dome? Damn.

  • Dan P
    Dan P

    So Rosebud was his... butt? I had it wrong all this time!

  • argonsfolley

    I'm always saying Stephen's monologue is a bespoke Frank Lloyd Wright luxury birdhouse. Nobody seems to understand what I'm talking about, but now I finally know... Stephen gets it.

  • David Ballard
    David Ballard

    Can we give Jon his own segment? I only put this on because Jon is usually in these segments.

  • itstherevolution

    Lol holy shit, Stephen was hitting nothing but net on this live show!

  • Mike B
    Mike B

    Great so Taco Bell is doing a meat alternative involving chickpeas... so now people are going fart after eating their 'food'.... wait a minute...

  • D.

    "In and Of Itself" was incredible. Highly recommend!

  • That_Pixie_Witch

    Damn. This was to be my first Burning Man. 🤨😢

  • William

    In a few years, this show will no longer be on here due to the cry baby cancel culture.

  • William

    I flew into Reno airport to drive into Oregon to see my parents. All these Losers were on the plane, and when we landed everywhere. My wife instantly noticed them as dirt hippies. The reak of Patchouli was everywhere. Maybe when it first started out it might have been cool. But every loser SLtoosr and instagram and others have made it so commercialized that it's most likely a joke.

  • Cancun771

    I would eat that Taco.

  • Lori Yost
    Lori Yost

    What part of Burning Man was normal? So heavy drinkers don't respond well to the VAX? That's okay- they're so afraid of having little pr1cks they won't get the VAX anyway.

  • alrighty ru
    alrighty ru

    ..AND?? THAT WAS ME! It's perfectly normal and Burning Man was better last year. XXX All the Burners of the world )*(

  • Sally Bowles
    Sally Bowles

    This episode is particularly brilliant

  • Chris Barnett
    Chris Barnett

    Stephen said calliope

  • Mark G
    Mark G

    I think I’ll take him down a notch with the help of Reddit

  • Ellis Jones
    Ellis Jones

    Sorry but I kinda like Taco Bell, High AF in a bell is a great gourmet experience

    • Ellis Jones
      Ellis Jones

      On the same topic, Wouldn't have been nice if it turned out the vaccine for Covid19 was weed?

  • Lili Von Shtup
    Lili Von Shtup

    Yes, Taco Bell has a combination test kitchen/ restroom for the convenience of the testers.

    • Queer Cripple
      Queer Cripple

      You can tell, by the smell, that they ate at Taco Bell 🤣

  • Angelo Fajardo
    Angelo Fajardo

    idk how but yesterday i completely preempted stephen doing today's monologue about woodworking.

  • DSAK55

    Google "rosebud"

  • John Burnside
    John Burnside

    You don't have a rosebud, Stephen.

  • TheMercilessEye

    Excuse me... Citizen Kane is a movie based on the life of the F-wit originally responsible for making cannabis illegal in this country, in the first place: William Randolph Hearst. This creature is responsible for an ocean of suffering in this country, as a direct result of his early 20th-century public propaganda campaign against cannabis. Should we therefore discard one of Orson Welles' greatest works? In a word -- yes. No matter how you dress him up, Hearst was still a jerk oligarch. Any movie enshrining his life isn't worth anyone's time, except perhaps as a case-study.

  • Sindollx666x

    There's medical tents all over burning man's, black rock city (BRC) And if it's the person in serious need emergency medical attention besides what can be provided there, there's an international airport at BRC so they can be airlifted out just as easily. Feathers are banned, occasionally they still make it in but they are heavily frowned upon. Real burners will be very unhappy if someone's wearing feathers and tell them why, because they fall off and shed too easily creating moop (stuff that falls off of people), and it's a leave no Trace event, you take out what you bring in + if you can, if you make any Trash you take it with you. Yes there is an orgy dome but you don't have to participate in it there's stuff for every kind of person there that you can possibly think of (and stuff that will have you asking, is this real life) but you only have to participate in what you want to participate in. There's also an outdoor roller disco, there is the French Quarter, the Thunderdome , there is a kid Village - a place for families to be we're only family-friendly events are held. You might find a phone booth where you can go in it and talk to God, I did. He had great words of wisdom for me. There's so many different things it's bananas. There's an arcade, there are tons of bars and clubs, drugs are actually not really permitted, that's not to say they don't make it in there. There are police walking around patrolling the whole thing, I've even seen SWAT guys there. There's literally any and everything there and all kinds of people from all walks of life from all over the world.

  • CloudsGirl7

    Yeah, because the first and most pandemic-safe thing we need is an orgy... Get a life, "Burning Man" nutters.

  • Augmuse

    Love Citizen Kane.